Thursday, April 26, 2012


When faced with tough decisions, it is easy to get distracted with emotions that creep up out of nowhere and sabotage your ability to move forward. If you are unaware of what is happening, the emotions can layer upon each other and soon you’ll feel immobilized, full of anxiety and overwhelmed. What makes this even worse, is that you feel like you either can’t or don’t want to share any of it with those close to you for fear of even more emotional turmoil.

Take the example of someone who is considering retirement. Once they have decided that it would be nice to spend the rest of their time enjoying life and giving back to the causes near and dear to their heart, they might even be thinking of moving to another town or even country, selling their house, etc. These thoughts actually get them excited, almost like the time after college when anything seemed possible, and they were open to it all. And now they share their big news with a son or a daughter who lives nearby depending on them for emergency childcare, extra support, somewhere to go for Sunday dinners, etc. Imagine the emotions and drama that follow.

It is easy in the case above to feel like you are abandoning your responsibilities and not being a good mother or father. After all, you’ve had a good life and been able to raise your family, now it is time to be there for your children and grandchildren. Can you see the entangled mess that this path of thinking can take you to? Layer upon layer of beliefs about responsibility, family ties, martyrdom, sacrifice, neediness, and righteousness added to the fear of taking a chance, doing something different, following your soul’s desire make it impossible to feel good about any decisions in this matter. And those you usually go to for support or advice somehow have their own agenda in all of this. It is natural to feel alone and overwhelmed.

This however does not pertain to just retirement decisions. This is what happens during any kind of major transition. You find yourself alone and overwhelmed. This is when it is important to seek the services of a professional coach who specializes in transitions or life changes. In my transition coaching sessions, clients find that they can think for themselves again. They can gain the clarity that was missing prior to our meeting. They can separate fact from fiction, beliefs from the truth, and then they can make tough decisions without doubt.

Transition coaching is not about taking away the pain, it is about being clear about what is yours and what is not. Transition coaching allows the client to reconnect with their own personal power which they gave away in order to make everyone else happy, or so they thought.

If you are facing a major life or work transition and would like to find out if transition coaching is for you, contact me for a complimentary 30 minute coaching conversation.

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