Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Uncertainty Instigates Drama

I like to know how the story ends. I like to be prepared. I like to know what all my options are. I like all this because it gives me a sense of peace and calm. I don’t like dealing with emergencies or making impulsive decisions at the last minute. I like to have time to think and plan. I like to be in control. I like to be smart and make smart decisions.

When people who find themselves agreeing with the statements above are faced with uncertainty where they cannot be prepared, don’t know what all their options are, don’t have a sense of peace and calm, have to deal with last minute emergencies, cannot plan or think, are not in control of a situation, and do not feel like they can make smart decisions, they are smack in the middle of a tornado of internal drama.

Drama in this case is closely related to anxiety. Not knowing can make anyone anxious. In order to relieve the pressure of not knowing, some people make up scenarios, and come up with action plans based on all the possible scenarios they can think of. This of course, makes them even more anxious because they realize that there are many possible scenarios that they have not or cannot think about! This is how internal drama caused by uncertainty becomes a destructive tornado creating chaos in its path.

I admit I am susceptible to such tornadoes! What works for me is a counter intuitive reaction. Instead of fighting the forces of uncertainty (sometimes they feel forceful), I give in to them. I take a deep breath and welcome the opportunity they present. Change can be chaotic and forceful, so go with it. This requires letting go of judgment and expectation. It is like standing in the wind and not worrying if it is going to blow away your hat and where it might end up. It is about surrendering to the fact that you may or may not find your hat.

When you do your best, you can let go of expectation. In fact, you must let go of expectation. All anyone of us can control is ourselves , our own attitudes and reactions. If we can get to the point where we are pleased with what we have done, then it is time to let go. As hard as it may seem, when you willingly let go, it is a relief. It can even be less of a battle. Letting go together with a good dose of patience, can be liberating during the winds of uncertainty.

If you are going through some wild winds where nothing seems to be in your control. Take a deep breath, and consider working with a spiritual life coach. Spiritual life coaching is about learning how to gracefully let go of what does not work anymore. Contact me for a complimentary 30 minute coaching conversation to determine if spiritual coaching is for you.

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