I am trying something new for the next few posts. I’ll write a little story (an exercise in creativity) and ask a few questions that might help loosen up some old stuck beliefs (hopefully). I hope you enjoy the stories and uncover stuff that helps you move forward!
She stopped only to catch a quick breath, she was looking at him or through him, not noticing anything about him. She was determined to tell the story almost as if someone was holding a gun to her head. He noticed a slight trembling in her hands, but she kept on going. The story weaved into another one. It wasn’t an intense story, but she was intense telling it. She would stop herself and correct any misplaced facts like: “it was Monday, no it was Tuesday afternoon when…” Such corrections were not necessary because he wasn’t interested in the story to begin with, and certainly the details of what day any of it happened, was even more unimportant to him. Not to her though, it was all important, not to be neglected. He was hoping she’d stop and notice the great ambience of the restaurant, taste the fabulous wine and enjoy the delicious food. She ate and she drank, but just like her shallow breaths, nothing lingered, and nothing was taken in to be enjoyed. He knew that she had to get it all out, but he wondered, when he could interject, when he could remind her of the reason why they were there. It was their first anniversary and he wanted to celebrate their relationship and she just couldn’t stop talking about her day. It seemed to always be like that with her, there was some drama somewhere, some injustice, something that bothered her. Her sensitive nature is what had drawn him to her, but now, it seemed to consume and define all their interactions. The dinner was over, check had been paid and he felt like he had been all by himself the whole time.
Questions to ponder:
1) Do you ever find yourself in those one-sided conversations where the other person is not really interested in anything you might want to add? How does that feel? Do you ever find yourself being the other person, talking incessantly at someone? How might you remind yourself to stop and listen and invite the other to participate?
2) Do you feel comfortable interjecting and derailing the conversation when you really want to and need to? Have you been successful or has the person just ignored you and carried on?
3) Imagine you are the person needing to interrupt in this story, how would you do it? Practice and take a jab at it, who knows it might come in handy for the next time you are caught being blabbed at.