Thursday, February 4, 2010

What's Weighing You Down?


Where I live, winter is not ready to be done. Another big snow storm is on its way to top off what is already coating the ground and people are getting grumpy about the cold. I don’t mind the snow and the cold, I just get tired of all the layers we have to put on to leave the house and then take off when we come in. It’s the boots and the socks and the gloves and the scarves that weigh me down and wear me out. The hint of spring is an exciting time, you can leave the house with a light jacket and perhaps even wear sandals on your feet. You feel lighter and more like yourself with nothing to hide or cover up.

The beauty of living where there are 4 seasons, is that as soon as you get tired of one, the other one will be here. There is a time for shedding and a time for layering. And so it is in life. We all carry too much weight from time to time and need to let go of those heavy weights. Some are easier to let go of and some stay with you despite your longing for them to be gone. Being busy and going about the business of the day over time prevents you from noticing what’s weighing you down. Soon, you don’t even recognize what they are or that you have a choice to let them go. We all can create spring in the middle of winter easily, but we do not recognize that ability in us.

What are the things that weigh you down? I’ve come up with 4 categories that those pesky weights fit into: pain, blame, shame, and guilt. All categories involve at least one other person. They all have to do with something big that happened some time ago. The fresh wounds are easy to recall. It’s always the old ones that are somehow more powerful and knock you down when you least expect them to. And it is usually when you are embarking in a new relationship or endeavor that you find yourself weighed down and unable to move in a new desired direction. The old issues sneak up and weigh you down so even the new feels like old and soon you give up because everything looks just like another shade of gray.

Sometimes you feel nothing and might think that there is nothing you can think of that is weighing you down. However, when you are asked, do you feel light? Do you feel like yourself? The answer is no. Feeling numb is a consequence of shoving down your pain, blame, shame, or guilt. Over time, it feels like nothing. It’s almost like body weight. If you’ve gained weight over time, you don’t notice it in your body but after you lose all of it, you feel lighter, healthier, more energized, etc. So, don’t be fooled by the numbness, it is not a good thing!

Once you have identified the pain, blame, shame, or guilt, just let it go. Sometimes, the simple process of recognition, does the releasing and sometimes, you have to give it a gentle shove. Sometimes you have to revisit the issue, because the release was not complete. If you are ready to bring spring in, simply stay aware of what’s going on. Feel the pain, blame, shame, or guilt if it comes up and then simply say good bye and consciously let it go. Don’t worry, it won’t pollute the earth or take over someone else. Like a freshly blown up balloon that is deflated, it just goes back to its original shape and is soon forgotten. Keep at it, and your extra weight will go down so you can feel your healthy and natural self. You will start feeling you, and not all the stuff around you. Here’s to bringing in spring in the middle of winter!

8 comments:

Asma' Ahmad said...

i love this entry! it makes me feel inspired and motivated again to seek for my happiness and to let go those pain, blame, guilt and shame.. thank you! :)

Sherry Bakhtian said...

Dear Asma,

I'm so glad this entry resonated with you. Best wishes for your winter cleaning! And remember to breathe as you let go.

Warmly,
Sherry

Asma' Ahmad said...

Thank you, Sherry! I realy love your writing since you write in a very different view and angle. Just like my blog, "Dari Sudut Indah" It means "From the Angle of Beauty" which I hope that whatever comes to me in this life, I can see it in the angle of beauty.

Ang you blog, realy helps and makes me motivated to interprate this life in a positive way :)

Sherry Bakhtian said...

Dear Asma,

I love the title of your blog and wish I could read it! Looking at life from the angle of beauty has a richness and depth to it. It's like living life with open arms. I admire your courage and beauty!

Love,
Sherry

Asma' Ahmad said...

Behind that courage, is actually thousand of painful and hard time that i've been through before. Im so tired of giving myself to that pethatic life. so, instead of ask Life "why me?" i change into "try me!" i'll make it as beauty as I can! and it actually begin when I accidently found your blog :)

well, i'm not good in english :) so, i decide to write my blog in my languange so that it will be easier for me to express my feeling. But, maybe i can try someday to write in english :)

wish to meet you someday, sherry ^__^

Sherry Bakhtian said...

I truly believe that the pain and hard times facilitate our depth and true inner beauty. Once again, I admire your attitude towards hardships. If you ever write in English, please let me know. There are no accidents, so I am sure that our paths will cross at the right moment.

Asma' Ahmad said...

Yes. I realy agree with you :) Thanks again Sherry!

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