Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Dismantling Patience

On the path towards new consciousness, certain concepts lose their meaning and significance. It’s like old technology, they become obsolete and cumbersome. Forgiveness is one of those concepts. A Course In Miracles states that it is necessary for us humans to forgive but eventually we’ll realize that it is not necessary because there is no need for it. There is nothing to forgive!

Patience is another one that is on its way out and one I’d like to think about today. Patience was a virtue. Patience implied that you had to slow yourself down to the level of the other person or whatever it was you were waiting for. Living in the now moment and with total compassion eliminates the need for patience. Being impatient means being intolerant, whether it is because you are in a rush to be somewhere else or because you are pre-occupied with something else (stressed). Thinking about patience or lack of it in this way may motivate you to become more patient with others. But what about patience with yourself, with life or whatever is or isn’t happening?

It all comes back to self-acceptance. How well do I accept myself just as I am? Will I accept myself after I lose some weight? Will I accept myself after I become successful or achieve some goal? Will I accept myself after I make more money? Will I accept myself or some other better, newer and more improved version of me? Unfortunately, that’s a carrot we’ll never get to. If we don’t learn to love and accept ourselves just the way we are in the now moment, we won’t later either. This does not mean that we should not strive to do better or improve ourselves. Improvement or enhancement of our experience of life is similar to going from point A to point B because it brings us joy, it is fun, or we are curious about what point B is like. In these cases, the journey of getting to point B is fun too. We are not in a rush to get there, because it is all part of the enjoyment. In fact, when we get to point B, we’ll realize that we might want to go to C, etc. It never ends, because it is all about expanding. Patience is not required, it is an unnecessary concept. If however, the goal of getting to point B is to avoid being in point A, then the journey seems difficult, a struggle and not enjoyable. I am reminded of Andre Agassi’s book, Open in which he states that he hated losing more than he loved winning. His journey was exhausting, joyless and full of struggle. He had no patience in his matches, he wanted them done with, so he could get to point B or not be in point A anymore.

Today, I am determined to dismantle patience. I am going to use awareness to notice when I am not being compassionate and accepting of what is. And with practice, I’ll realize that I won’t need patience anymore. I just need to remember that I am the master of my experience and that if something isn’t working out for me, I need to first change my attitude and then take any necessary actions. Patience will be obsolete, ready to be discarded like an old typewriter. I’m looking forward to a gentler, more efficient and less cumbersome way of being, one that includes everything and everyone just as they are. So long Patience!


Gabriela Abalo said...

I agree with you, the concept of patience becomes obsolete and cumbersome when we live in the now.

Patience is related to the ability to suppress restlessness and annoyance when confronted with delay… When we are fully present in the now, there is no hurry to go anywhere as we are exactly where we want to be. Then patience is obsolete! ;)


Sherry Bakhtian said...

Thanks Gabi! I have a feeling there are a lot of things we can do without when we are in the now.


Halil said...

I agree with you about the state of being when moving from A to B.
I also feel that point A is always point A at where ever we are. B is illusion and if we are aware of this, experinece of B becomes joyful. And then the point A expands.

thanks for the lovely inspiration.

Sherry Bakhtian said...

Thank you Halil for your beautiful observation! So true, in fact, when we are in A and joyfully so going through the business of life in the now moment, there is no need for B, or as you said, A has now expanded to meet us at B.