I was walking in the streets of Florence, Italy. It was beautiful, I was extremely content and there was a white haze surrounding me ...
The feelings from that dream were so amazingly pleasant, I can’t describe them at all. In fact, I don’t want to describe them. When I woke up from that dream, I tried to understand it and bring meaning to it and as soon as I started doing that, the feeling went away. I realized that I should have just stayed with the feeling without the need to analyze or understand. I now go back there, without words and am able to re-experience the feelings sans definition.
We don’t do that with negative feelings do we? We don’t want to re-experience them.
When bad things happen, it has to be someone’s fault. For sure, it is the fault of the bad person who did the bad thing. But it is also perhaps the fault of the person who something happened to, because they were negligent, stupid, too much of something (trusting, naïve, in a hurry, etc.). Or the fault of a 3rd person who may have mislead them into going somewhere, doing something,...
When something negative happens, we run into multiple directions trying to find fault and person(s) to accuse. Sometimes, we run in the same circles after the accusation has been made. Over and over again, we repeat in our heads, “I should have known better”, or “how could he have not kept his word”,... This sometimes distracts us from the pain that we feel from having to deal with what has happened and at least, it makes us feel justified.
Finding fault or sentencing someone with an accusation is essentially about verbalizing an incomprehensive emotion. When something bad happens, we can’t comprehend it, so we seek understanding. Justice brings understanding back into our stories. Words further organize our understanding with more clarity and certainty. In the end it becomes a neatly wrapped package, easy to hold that we keep passing on to ourselves or others.
It is also safe. Words and definitions keep us at a safe distance away from the scene of the event. We don’t have to relive the bad thing. We can bathe in our own righteousness.
In my spiritual life coaching sessions, clients often present a situation from the standpoint of the judge and jury. From that stance, change is not possible. It is a dead end. However, when the client is voluntarily and gently walked back to the starting point of the event, they realize that they have a choice. They realize that there are many destinations from that single point of departure. Letting go of judgment becomes easier. Forgiveness becomes possible. Freedom is the client’s to experience. Words are not needed.
If you are interested in finding out about how you can experience more freedom, forgiveness, and satisfaction regardless of what has happened in your life, contact me for a complimentary 30 minute spiritual life coaching conversation.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Path Towards Unconditional Love
Organizing my art supplies, I came across paintings that I had not thrown out and didn’t deem valuable enough to frame, or give away. Looking at each I could remember when it was exactly that I had decided that the work was not good enough to be shown to anyone. I remembered the brush stroke, color, line, wash, or the one little mistake that turned the painting from a beautiful image in my mind to an unacceptable reject. I even remembered what I did when I decided that the painting was unacceptable, I put away my paints and supplies and walked away. Somehow, I didn’t find these paintings bad enough to throw away. They were neatly stacked on top of each other under my art supplies, hidden, yet not discarded.
I was reminded of a conversation I had with a spiritual coaching client months ago. After a challenging coaching session where she admitted that she was fighting the process, she admitted that this is not the way she is when she is with other people. In fact, she said: “Most people think I am upbeat and funny. I always cheer everyone up and plough through my own hardships, at least that is what they say about me. I don’t know why I am being this way with you, I hope you don’t think of me as a negative and depressed person.” After reassuring her that I wasn’t judging her, I had to think about what she had said.
It is true that in an intimate coaching conversation, we reveal everything about ourselves. Even the discarded pieces of ourselves that we hide from almost everyone else, we show to our coach. I am a witness to all the undesirable paintings, the ones that are not acceptable for display and yet have not been thrown away.
Even though, I am sure that my clients have a different plan about what to do with their unacceptable creation, for me it is always the same. I don’t see any of it as acceptable or not. I see it as an indication of the creativity of its creator. For me it is further proof that there is an artist in everyone.
My job is to remind the creator of his or her creativity and hence, responsibility towards their creation. Then, I gently invite them to release judgment and start to look at their creation from another perspective. Without the need to assess or evaluate, the creator can now see the real image and the hidden truth in their artwork. With practice, they can now look at all of their artwork in the same manner. This practice is what gets us closer to conscious choice.
We can only be consciously choosing, when we wake up from our nightmares of: judgment, martyrdom, victimization, compulsive doing, and trying hard to finish the race or reach an imaginary point in time and space. Conscious choice is born through unconditional love.
We are all searching for love from the outside. How can we be loved if we can’t love ourselves wholly? Are we hoping that our lover won’t see the ugly pictures if we hide them well enough? If we only show the good ones, he will fall in love with us, that is until one day, he happens to come across all the ugly pictures neatly piled away and then off we go on to another search for someone else we can fool into believing that we are just a piece of what we really are.
So, what would you like to do with your previously labeled “unacceptable” creations? Perhaps they get framed and placed somewhere visible to remind you of the rich source of creativity that is within you and does not yet know how to fully express itself through you. Or might they remind you of your potential to love unconditionally pieces of yourself that you have judged to be unpleasant? Can you love all of your creations?
If you are interested in spiritual life coaching to help you on your journey towards unconditional self-love and acceptance, please contact me for a complimentary 30 minute session to determine if spiritual coaching is what you’d like to pursue.
I was reminded of a conversation I had with a spiritual coaching client months ago. After a challenging coaching session where she admitted that she was fighting the process, she admitted that this is not the way she is when she is with other people. In fact, she said: “Most people think I am upbeat and funny. I always cheer everyone up and plough through my own hardships, at least that is what they say about me. I don’t know why I am being this way with you, I hope you don’t think of me as a negative and depressed person.” After reassuring her that I wasn’t judging her, I had to think about what she had said.
It is true that in an intimate coaching conversation, we reveal everything about ourselves. Even the discarded pieces of ourselves that we hide from almost everyone else, we show to our coach. I am a witness to all the undesirable paintings, the ones that are not acceptable for display and yet have not been thrown away.
Even though, I am sure that my clients have a different plan about what to do with their unacceptable creation, for me it is always the same. I don’t see any of it as acceptable or not. I see it as an indication of the creativity of its creator. For me it is further proof that there is an artist in everyone.
My job is to remind the creator of his or her creativity and hence, responsibility towards their creation. Then, I gently invite them to release judgment and start to look at their creation from another perspective. Without the need to assess or evaluate, the creator can now see the real image and the hidden truth in their artwork. With practice, they can now look at all of their artwork in the same manner. This practice is what gets us closer to conscious choice.
We can only be consciously choosing, when we wake up from our nightmares of: judgment, martyrdom, victimization, compulsive doing, and trying hard to finish the race or reach an imaginary point in time and space. Conscious choice is born through unconditional love.
We are all searching for love from the outside. How can we be loved if we can’t love ourselves wholly? Are we hoping that our lover won’t see the ugly pictures if we hide them well enough? If we only show the good ones, he will fall in love with us, that is until one day, he happens to come across all the ugly pictures neatly piled away and then off we go on to another search for someone else we can fool into believing that we are just a piece of what we really are.
So, what would you like to do with your previously labeled “unacceptable” creations? Perhaps they get framed and placed somewhere visible to remind you of the rich source of creativity that is within you and does not yet know how to fully express itself through you. Or might they remind you of your potential to love unconditionally pieces of yourself that you have judged to be unpleasant? Can you love all of your creations?
If you are interested in spiritual life coaching to help you on your journey towards unconditional self-love and acceptance, please contact me for a complimentary 30 minute session to determine if spiritual coaching is what you’d like to pursue.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Giving and Receiving Gone Bad
Whenever I am presented with an insurmountable issue by one of my clients, I like to observe the world around me and see if I recognize the same issue or pattern elsewhere. Two of the most common issues my clients want to be coached on, are being stuck and lack of abundance of opportunities. I know that we all get stuck from time to time and can’t see what is available to us or feel uncreative and hence can’t produce anything to get us out of where we are stuck. However, when life deals us a bad hand, some people have an excruciatingly difficult time getting out of their negative tendencies and so, sink deeper and deeper into the muck.
I’ve identified at least two categories in which we can get lost in. These categories are extreme cases which in a healthy mental state we can go in and come out of. Some can’t get out for many reasons and that is not the topic of this post. I wanted to invite you to take a look at yourself and how you might fall into one or both of these categories from time to time.
Over-givers: They tend to be women, mothers, multi-taskers and very good at many things. In fact, many keep on giving even when there is nothing left to give. What do they give when it is all gone? They give away their frustrations, compulsions, stress, anxiety, worries, you name it, they dish it out and there is an endless supply of these. They mean well, they just don’t know how to stop themselves. It’s as if giving is programmed into their DNA, and they can’t stop. It has nothing to do with the quality or even the content of what they are giving, they are caught up in the act and they keep at it.
Many over-givers have control issues. They tend to choke off the life force in the receiver of their giving. They also tend to blame everyone who isn’t happy or cooperative about receiving what they are shoving their way.
Non-receivers: The non-receivers won’t accept anything from anyone. Many of the over givers are non-receivers too. Some non-receivers on the other hand, aren’t interested in giving or receiving. They are like a closed fist that does not know how to open up and hold or receive. Everything is impossible, irrelevant, unrealistic, impractical, useless or a waste of time to them. These beliefs keep the fist closed and serve their negative mental state.
The non-receivers are stiff and not easily humored. They cannot laugh at themselves, they are angry at the world. They believe they are smart and not easily fooled like those other happy, gullible people they despise or envy. Non-receivers cannot engage in any positive activities or conversations that challenge their position. Challenging a non-receiver requires them to open up their fists and they can’t do that and remain a non-receiver at the same time. It challenges their whole identity.
The over-givers are non-receivers for the most part. They cannot receive because most of the time they are in their giving mode, and receiving would mess up with their giving function. However, if and when they want something specific to be delivered in a specific way by a specific person, and it happens, then they will receive! That however, rarely happens, so they keep on giving.
We all fall into one or both of these categories from time to time and about certain things and with certain people. Like anxiety, a little bit of it is a good thing. It stretches you. However, when done over and over again, it becomes part of your personality and not only is it hard to get out of, it is hard to be around.
Do you find yourself falling into one or both of these categories at any time or with certain people or situations? Are you stuck and can’t get away from your thinking patterns? When stressed, what happens to your giving and receiving tendencies?
If you would like to further explore these concepts and how they may be contributing to your level of dissatisfaction with life, please contact me for a complimentary 30 minute session to determine if spiritual life coaching is what you might be interested in.
I’ve identified at least two categories in which we can get lost in. These categories are extreme cases which in a healthy mental state we can go in and come out of. Some can’t get out for many reasons and that is not the topic of this post. I wanted to invite you to take a look at yourself and how you might fall into one or both of these categories from time to time.
Over-givers: They tend to be women, mothers, multi-taskers and very good at many things. In fact, many keep on giving even when there is nothing left to give. What do they give when it is all gone? They give away their frustrations, compulsions, stress, anxiety, worries, you name it, they dish it out and there is an endless supply of these. They mean well, they just don’t know how to stop themselves. It’s as if giving is programmed into their DNA, and they can’t stop. It has nothing to do with the quality or even the content of what they are giving, they are caught up in the act and they keep at it.
Many over-givers have control issues. They tend to choke off the life force in the receiver of their giving. They also tend to blame everyone who isn’t happy or cooperative about receiving what they are shoving their way.
Non-receivers: The non-receivers won’t accept anything from anyone. Many of the over givers are non-receivers too. Some non-receivers on the other hand, aren’t interested in giving or receiving. They are like a closed fist that does not know how to open up and hold or receive. Everything is impossible, irrelevant, unrealistic, impractical, useless or a waste of time to them. These beliefs keep the fist closed and serve their negative mental state.
The non-receivers are stiff and not easily humored. They cannot laugh at themselves, they are angry at the world. They believe they are smart and not easily fooled like those other happy, gullible people they despise or envy. Non-receivers cannot engage in any positive activities or conversations that challenge their position. Challenging a non-receiver requires them to open up their fists and they can’t do that and remain a non-receiver at the same time. It challenges their whole identity.
The over-givers are non-receivers for the most part. They cannot receive because most of the time they are in their giving mode, and receiving would mess up with their giving function. However, if and when they want something specific to be delivered in a specific way by a specific person, and it happens, then they will receive! That however, rarely happens, so they keep on giving.
We all fall into one or both of these categories from time to time and about certain things and with certain people. Like anxiety, a little bit of it is a good thing. It stretches you. However, when done over and over again, it becomes part of your personality and not only is it hard to get out of, it is hard to be around.
Do you find yourself falling into one or both of these categories at any time or with certain people or situations? Are you stuck and can’t get away from your thinking patterns? When stressed, what happens to your giving and receiving tendencies?
If you would like to further explore these concepts and how they may be contributing to your level of dissatisfaction with life, please contact me for a complimentary 30 minute session to determine if spiritual life coaching is what you might be interested in.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Spiritual Coaching II (Positive vs. Negative Transitions)
I work with people who are going through all kinds of change. Transition is how you manage change. As such I coach people who perceive their change as a negative one and hence, their transition becomes negative too. The bulk of the work is about looking at what may have seemed like a negative transition (e.g., loss of a job, divorce) and dealing with it in a realistic way. Being real is key to making it through any transition. Reality includes negative and positive beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and all kinds of fears (rational or not).
When people use their so-called negative transition to explore the potentials hidden in the chaos or disorganization of their world, they become more comfortable with uncertainty and start seeing and experiencing creativity, non-linearity, and what may even seem like magic. At this stage, there is no longer a feeling of dread even when they have to meet their divorce attorney to go over child support payments for example. This is what I mean be keeping it real.
During a transition period, control and certainty have been replaced by chaos and uncertainty. The good news is that anything can happen during chaos as long as you are ok with the fact that uncertainty will make sure you won’t know what is going to happen and how it happens. Yes, the road to empowerment involves dismantling of the old you which means giving up the fake sense of power that you may have had. When life works according to the old rules handed down by our parents, teachers, schools, jobs, bosses, and the media, we feel powerful. We feel like we have figured it all out and we are smart and empowered. It’s only when things don’t quite work out according to our expectations, that we feel betrayed and disempowered.
True power however, is not something that anyone or anything can take away from you. Real empowerment comes when you get to know the real you. The real you is the integrated you: the good, the bad, and even the ugly. When all those pieces come together and when you accept all of them as the real you, then you are empowered. As long as you are rejecting any part of you, you are going to be rejected.
With real empowerment, there is no need to label life’s bumps and bruises as positive or negative. It is just a part of life. You may not like it, but you know that you will come through it. As a spiritual life coach who helps people going through difficult transitions, this is where I like to help my clients get to, the place of full acceptance of whatever is or is not happening. This can be done without resistance when you know who you are, what is important to you (your values), what your choices are, how to take care of yourself and who can support you.
Questions to Ponder:
1) Are you going through a difficult transition?
2) Is it negative or positive, and what makes it so?
3) What needs to change in order for you to have a more positive experience?
If you are going through a difficult transition and would like to work with a spiritual life coach, contact me for a complimentary 30 minute conversation to determine if I can help you through your journey.
When people use their so-called negative transition to explore the potentials hidden in the chaos or disorganization of their world, they become more comfortable with uncertainty and start seeing and experiencing creativity, non-linearity, and what may even seem like magic. At this stage, there is no longer a feeling of dread even when they have to meet their divorce attorney to go over child support payments for example. This is what I mean be keeping it real.
During a transition period, control and certainty have been replaced by chaos and uncertainty. The good news is that anything can happen during chaos as long as you are ok with the fact that uncertainty will make sure you won’t know what is going to happen and how it happens. Yes, the road to empowerment involves dismantling of the old you which means giving up the fake sense of power that you may have had. When life works according to the old rules handed down by our parents, teachers, schools, jobs, bosses, and the media, we feel powerful. We feel like we have figured it all out and we are smart and empowered. It’s only when things don’t quite work out according to our expectations, that we feel betrayed and disempowered.
True power however, is not something that anyone or anything can take away from you. Real empowerment comes when you get to know the real you. The real you is the integrated you: the good, the bad, and even the ugly. When all those pieces come together and when you accept all of them as the real you, then you are empowered. As long as you are rejecting any part of you, you are going to be rejected.
With real empowerment, there is no need to label life’s bumps and bruises as positive or negative. It is just a part of life. You may not like it, but you know that you will come through it. As a spiritual life coach who helps people going through difficult transitions, this is where I like to help my clients get to, the place of full acceptance of whatever is or is not happening. This can be done without resistance when you know who you are, what is important to you (your values), what your choices are, how to take care of yourself and who can support you.
Questions to Ponder:
1) Are you going through a difficult transition?
2) Is it negative or positive, and what makes it so?
3) What needs to change in order for you to have a more positive experience?
If you are going through a difficult transition and would like to work with a spiritual life coach, contact me for a complimentary 30 minute conversation to determine if I can help you through your journey.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Spiritual Coaching I
As a spiritual life coach, I belong to a few groups on LinkedIn and the recent discussions have been around spiritual coaching and core competencies. I am excited by the fact that we are openly and courageously bringing the word “spiritual” into serious coaching conversations and deeper yet, trying to define the core competencies that would be related to it.
Today, I’d like to write about “coaching presence” or the first coaching competency as defined by the ICF (International Coach Federation): sees many ways to work with the client, and chooses in the moment what is most effective.
When I work with my clients who happen to be professional women in the corporate world, the word spiritual is not something that I loosely throw around. I am careful with my words, extremely careful, and so, I usually don’t use words that my clients are either not familiar with or might be uncomfortable around. I believe, that if I have to define it, it is probably not worth using. I rarely use the word spiritual and yet, I consider most of the work I do to be spiritual. It is spiritual because it is not about the words, the mind, or the emotions that are the result of an over worked mind.
I always assess where the client is at the moment, not yesterday, last session, or where I hope they are based on what they said last time. The coach has to be present and in the now for coaching to work. In order to facilitate the coaching presence, the coach has to be present in the now moment. This is a spiritual concept, because in order to truly be in the now, you have to let go of what happened, your judgments, your hopes, your analyses, the notes you took from last time, your ego, what you want to accomplish, your need to feel important …
You have to let go of it all, in order to be present. You have to be an empty vessel for the client to feel confident with you to empty her vessel. During the client’s emptying is when learning happens. In those sacred moments all that is there, is an empty space.
That is coaching presence as I practice and understand it to be, and this is a spiritual exchange or connection. Stripped from our egos, minds, thoughts, judgments, analyses, other people’s words, fears, beliefs, we are free to recognize what we already know.
So, yes, the core competency of coaching presence is indeed addressed during an effective spiritual life coaching session.
Questions to Ponder:
1) How present are you on average?
2) Can you relate your “presence” to your level of satisfaction with life?
If you are interested in spiritual life coaching, please contact me for a complimentary 30 minute session.
Today, I’d like to write about “coaching presence” or the first coaching competency as defined by the ICF (International Coach Federation): sees many ways to work with the client, and chooses in the moment what is most effective.
When I work with my clients who happen to be professional women in the corporate world, the word spiritual is not something that I loosely throw around. I am careful with my words, extremely careful, and so, I usually don’t use words that my clients are either not familiar with or might be uncomfortable around. I believe, that if I have to define it, it is probably not worth using. I rarely use the word spiritual and yet, I consider most of the work I do to be spiritual. It is spiritual because it is not about the words, the mind, or the emotions that are the result of an over worked mind.
I always assess where the client is at the moment, not yesterday, last session, or where I hope they are based on what they said last time. The coach has to be present and in the now for coaching to work. In order to facilitate the coaching presence, the coach has to be present in the now moment. This is a spiritual concept, because in order to truly be in the now, you have to let go of what happened, your judgments, your hopes, your analyses, the notes you took from last time, your ego, what you want to accomplish, your need to feel important …
You have to let go of it all, in order to be present. You have to be an empty vessel for the client to feel confident with you to empty her vessel. During the client’s emptying is when learning happens. In those sacred moments all that is there, is an empty space.
That is coaching presence as I practice and understand it to be, and this is a spiritual exchange or connection. Stripped from our egos, minds, thoughts, judgments, analyses, other people’s words, fears, beliefs, we are free to recognize what we already know.
So, yes, the core competency of coaching presence is indeed addressed during an effective spiritual life coaching session.
Questions to Ponder:
1) How present are you on average?
2) Can you relate your “presence” to your level of satisfaction with life?
If you are interested in spiritual life coaching, please contact me for a complimentary 30 minute session.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Disconnect
It was one of those mornings. I needed to get to my e-mails and was having an internet connectivity problem. After sitting through the robotic instructions of my internet provider’s automated service, I was told to turn my computer off, reset the modem and disconnect the wireless router. Then I was told to wait for at least 20 seconds before re-connecting and turning everything back on. The pleasant, yet robotic voice then graciously said goodbye and asked me to call back if I still had problems with my internet connection.
Since I had done all the things she had suggested before I called in, but not all of it together and I had not waited for at least 20 seconds, I decided to wait longer than that with everything shut down and disconnected.
I then decided to disconnect myself. I went outside and sat on my patio steps and took a few deep breaths. It felt really good, not having anything to do. I even stopped thinking and was able to shut off the rambling voices and disjointed thoughts and images in my head. I started focusing on my breathing, listening to the birds and felt the breeze against my skin. It felt wonderful. I was beginning to feel rejuvenated.
I realized how busy I had been for the past two months. Summer gets that way. The days are broken up: I have a tight coaching schedule, and a book that is being edited and needs to be published, there never seems to be enough time to just sit and breathe. I know for me and probably everyone else out there, conscious breathing while doing nothing is not what we allow ourselves to do on a regular basis.
I am not talking about meditating, or sleeping. We all walk away from our computers and when we sleep at night, the computer is shut down and sleeps too. Yet, it still needs to be disconnected. We too need to be disconnected from time to time. I knew the benefits of disconnecting for me, but I didn’t realize how just like the computer, if I don’t disconnect regularly, I might stop functioning. I stayed with that thought and gave myself full permission to sit outside just a bit longer.
Questions to Ponder:
1) What does it mean to you to be disconnected and do you do it voluntarily?
2) What are the benefits of disconnecting to you?
If you would like to work on disconnecting and learning how to be more effective when connected, you may want to work with a spiritual life coach. Spiritual life coaching can teach you tools and skills that you can consistently use as needed. If you would like to work with me, but are not sure, contact me for a complimentary 30 minute consultation.
Since I had done all the things she had suggested before I called in, but not all of it together and I had not waited for at least 20 seconds, I decided to wait longer than that with everything shut down and disconnected.
I then decided to disconnect myself. I went outside and sat on my patio steps and took a few deep breaths. It felt really good, not having anything to do. I even stopped thinking and was able to shut off the rambling voices and disjointed thoughts and images in my head. I started focusing on my breathing, listening to the birds and felt the breeze against my skin. It felt wonderful. I was beginning to feel rejuvenated.
I realized how busy I had been for the past two months. Summer gets that way. The days are broken up: I have a tight coaching schedule, and a book that is being edited and needs to be published, there never seems to be enough time to just sit and breathe. I know for me and probably everyone else out there, conscious breathing while doing nothing is not what we allow ourselves to do on a regular basis.
I am not talking about meditating, or sleeping. We all walk away from our computers and when we sleep at night, the computer is shut down and sleeps too. Yet, it still needs to be disconnected. We too need to be disconnected from time to time. I knew the benefits of disconnecting for me, but I didn’t realize how just like the computer, if I don’t disconnect regularly, I might stop functioning. I stayed with that thought and gave myself full permission to sit outside just a bit longer.
Questions to Ponder:
1) What does it mean to you to be disconnected and do you do it voluntarily?
2) What are the benefits of disconnecting to you?
If you would like to work on disconnecting and learning how to be more effective when connected, you may want to work with a spiritual life coach. Spiritual life coaching can teach you tools and skills that you can consistently use as needed. If you would like to work with me, but are not sure, contact me for a complimentary 30 minute consultation.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
What's Polluting You?
It’s not noon yet and I feel like a land fill already. I started out fresh and my morning meditation cleared the slate for a brand new day. What happened between then and now?
Life happened I guess. The regular wears and tears of living just got to me. Actually, they didn’t really get to me, I just happened to notice them today.
Here is a list of my pollutants du jour (so far):
1. News of yet another sex scandal on TV
2. Bottle caps and plastic bottles on my walking trail
3. The garbage truck’s noise
4. My daughter’s emotional meltdown about something ridiculous
5. Beating myself up over not working out this morning
6. Thoughts about the appointment I have later on that I don’t want to keep
7. E-mails that I can’t keep up with
8. Feeling like there is something important I’ve forgotten to do (and it’s not the work out)
9. Annoyed at the over whelming fragrance of the bug spray I sprayed on myself before going out for my walk
10. Thoughts of what to make for dinner tonight
Once you stop and become mindful of all the pollutants in your life, it can get scary. If it does not scare you, it can certainly stress you or cause a certain degree of anxiety, so that by 5 PM after a good day’s work, you are ready to unleash at the first guy who cuts you off in rush hour traffic. And it hasn’t even been a really bad day.
A client once asked me, “So what do I do with all of the pollutants?” Some of them may need to be taken care of, but most are just a byproduct of life. In fact, sometimes when we over-analyze something, it becomes more of a problem. Usually, it is just about noticing and letting go. The noticing is important, because it makes you conscious and aware, so you can then take care of yourself. When you know you are annoyed, It is your responsibility to take care of your condition. The taking care of might just be about taking a few deep breaths, lightening up, and letting go.
The reason why we get so uptight is because we either want to take responsibility for what is not ours, we have already taken responsibility for what is not ours, or we want someone else to take responsibility for what is not theirs. The pollutants in our life are here to remind us that we are not the handyman of the universe, armed with our tool belts ready to go into fix it mode at the drop of a hat. We are certainly not the high school principal or prison guard watching and waiting for someone to go out of line, so we can correct them or put them in place either.
In fact, situations always somehow resolve themselves without our interference. So, the next time you feel inclined to react to a pollutant, remember that it is just a pollutant, something that does not require much thought or emotional distress. Living is about bumping into things and sometimes even falling down and breaking a few bones.
Don’t lose sight of what really matters when you are agitated or hurt by your bump. It’s just a pesky bump. It’s a reminder that you are alive and a human.
Questions to Ponder:
1) What are some of your pollutants?
2) How do you decide what is just a pollutant and what really needs your attention?
3) How do you recharge and clean your slate?
If you would like to learn how to manage your pollutants, you might want to work with a spiritual life coach. Spiritual life coaching can teach you how to recharge, gain clarity, and stay peaceful when life is throwing all kinds of things at you. If you are interested in a complimentary 30 minute life coaching consultation, please contact me.
Life happened I guess. The regular wears and tears of living just got to me. Actually, they didn’t really get to me, I just happened to notice them today.
Here is a list of my pollutants du jour (so far):
1. News of yet another sex scandal on TV
2. Bottle caps and plastic bottles on my walking trail
3. The garbage truck’s noise
4. My daughter’s emotional meltdown about something ridiculous
5. Beating myself up over not working out this morning
6. Thoughts about the appointment I have later on that I don’t want to keep
7. E-mails that I can’t keep up with
8. Feeling like there is something important I’ve forgotten to do (and it’s not the work out)
9. Annoyed at the over whelming fragrance of the bug spray I sprayed on myself before going out for my walk
10. Thoughts of what to make for dinner tonight
Once you stop and become mindful of all the pollutants in your life, it can get scary. If it does not scare you, it can certainly stress you or cause a certain degree of anxiety, so that by 5 PM after a good day’s work, you are ready to unleash at the first guy who cuts you off in rush hour traffic. And it hasn’t even been a really bad day.
A client once asked me, “So what do I do with all of the pollutants?” Some of them may need to be taken care of, but most are just a byproduct of life. In fact, sometimes when we over-analyze something, it becomes more of a problem. Usually, it is just about noticing and letting go. The noticing is important, because it makes you conscious and aware, so you can then take care of yourself. When you know you are annoyed, It is your responsibility to take care of your condition. The taking care of might just be about taking a few deep breaths, lightening up, and letting go.
The reason why we get so uptight is because we either want to take responsibility for what is not ours, we have already taken responsibility for what is not ours, or we want someone else to take responsibility for what is not theirs. The pollutants in our life are here to remind us that we are not the handyman of the universe, armed with our tool belts ready to go into fix it mode at the drop of a hat. We are certainly not the high school principal or prison guard watching and waiting for someone to go out of line, so we can correct them or put them in place either.
In fact, situations always somehow resolve themselves without our interference. So, the next time you feel inclined to react to a pollutant, remember that it is just a pollutant, something that does not require much thought or emotional distress. Living is about bumping into things and sometimes even falling down and breaking a few bones.
Don’t lose sight of what really matters when you are agitated or hurt by your bump. It’s just a pesky bump. It’s a reminder that you are alive and a human.
Questions to Ponder:
1) What are some of your pollutants?
2) How do you decide what is just a pollutant and what really needs your attention?
3) How do you recharge and clean your slate?
If you would like to learn how to manage your pollutants, you might want to work with a spiritual life coach. Spiritual life coaching can teach you how to recharge, gain clarity, and stay peaceful when life is throwing all kinds of things at you. If you are interested in a complimentary 30 minute life coaching consultation, please contact me.
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