Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Spiritual Coaching II (Positive vs. Negative Transitions)

I work with people who are going through all kinds of change.  Transition is how you manage change.  As such I coach  people who perceive their change as a negative one and hence, their transition becomes negative too.  The bulk of the work is about looking at what may have seemed like a negative transition (e.g., loss of a job, divorce) and dealing with it in a realistic way.  Being real is key to making it through any transition.  Reality includes negative and positive beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and all kinds of fears (rational or not).

When people use their so-called negative transition to explore the potentials hidden in the chaos or disorganization of their world, they become more comfortable with uncertainty and start seeing and experiencing creativity, non-linearity, and what may even seem like magic.  At this stage, there is no longer a feeling of dread even when they have to meet their divorce attorney to go over child support payments for example.  This is what I mean be keeping it real.
During a transition period, control and certainty have been replaced by chaos and uncertainty.  The good news is that anything can happen during chaos as long as you are ok with the fact that uncertainty will make sure you won’t know what is going to happen and how it happens.  Yes, the road to empowerment involves dismantling of the old you which means giving up the fake sense of power that you may have had.  When life works according to the old rules handed down by our parents, teachers, schools, jobs, bosses, and the media, we feel powerful.  We feel like we have figured it all out and we are smart and empowered.  It’s only when things don’t quite work out according to our expectations, that we feel betrayed and disempowered. 

True power however, is not something that anyone or anything can take away from you.  Real empowerment comes when you get to know the real you.  The real you is the integrated you: the good, the bad, and even the ugly.  When all those pieces come together and when you accept all of them as the real you, then you are empowered.  As long as you are rejecting any part of you, you are going to be rejected.

With real empowerment, there is no need to label life’s bumps and bruises as positive or negative.  It is just a part of life.  You may not like it, but you know that you will come through it.  As a spiritual life coach who helps people going through difficult transitions, this is where I like to help my clients get to, the place of full acceptance of whatever is or is not happening.  This can be done without resistance when you know who you are, what is important to you (your values), what your choices are, how to take care of yourself and who can support you.

Questions to Ponder:
1)    Are you going through a difficult transition? 
2)    Is it negative or positive, and what makes it so?
3)    What needs to change in order for you to have a more positive experience?

If you are going through a difficult transition and would like to work with a spiritual life coach, contact me for a complimentary 30 minute conversation to determine if I can help you through your journey. 

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