It was one of those crazy busy days where I had many back to back appointments. Unlike the way I used to be, I had not thought about who was coming and what they might need to be coached on. In other words, I knew where I had to be, who I had to see, but I had not processed, or analyzed what it all meant. I knew client X was coming at 9 AM and one hour and 15 minutes later, I had to coach client Y, but I was not trying to remember or predict what they might want to be coached on. This was in part due to a conscious effort on my part to be copiously curious as my mentor coach would put it. And I have learned that if I study or review a client’s past coaching session, then I am expecting it to go a certain way and then I’ve lost my curiosity.
The day continued on the same way it had started, with lots of curiosity and hustle. My evening appointment was with my children at the pediatrician’s office for their annual flu shots. I had not processed that my daughter usually hates getting shots and sometimes even gets a little hysterical. It was as if I had forgotten how stressful this appointment could be. Well, to my surprise, she hopped on the examination table and pulled up her sleeve and took the shot without any drama at all! Right after she hopped back down and put on her sweater, I realized what had happened.
She had changed her story. Driving back home, I was reminded of my coaching sessions during the day. In fact, all my clients had managed to surprise me. None of the sessions had gone on in an orderly fashion, they had been slightly unpredictable and a bit messy. Yet, I had enjoyed them because they had pushed me into directions I had not gone before. This is not that uncommon in a coaching session, because no matter how well you think you know your client, you couldn’t possibly know them as well as you think.
At the pediatrician’s office I realized the same thing about my daughter. What I thought I knew about her was just a prediction based on past behavior. In a coaching session, the coach allows the client to change their story. That’s how coaching works, you are in a space where you can change your story. With practice, I am learning to apply the same principles in my own life and in the more intimate relationships which I think I know so much about!
Copious curiosity in coaching works by dissolving the bars of the prisons that our clients have created from their stories. When you are in the presence of someone as if for the first time, listening with your whole being and being present without judgment, expectation, or the need to fit into any theories, past behaviors, or projecting your own story upon them, magic happens! The client is now free to change their story.
This is one of the reasons why I refer to myself as a spiritual life coach. What happens in a session when the coach has been copiously curious, is not logical or rational. It is outside the realms of mental understanding. It is what I call a spiritual experience!
If you are interested in working with a spiritual life coach, contact me for a complimentary 30 minute spiritual coaching conversation.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Wakeup Call
Talking to my colleagues who are psychologists and counselors, we are of the general understanding that it takes a bus to get most of us to start asking the deeper questions in life. Unless you’ve been hit by the proverbial bus (you jumped in front of it not knowing what you were doing, by accident, or someone pushed you) most of us do not care about questions that ponder the deeper meaning of life.
We start our adult lives getting educated, finding a good job, starting a family, and following a predictable trajectory. Even though, we hear of others whose lives did not follow the predictable path, we hope or pray that we are not one of those people. What’s happening in the world today is all about a change in that trajectory. Whether it is the economy, changes on the planet (dramatic weather or natural disasters), or political upheavals, little is predictable these days. Add to that the normal outliers (being fired, getting a divorce, serious health issues, family troubles, money problems, or a general dissatisfaction with the quality of your life) and what you have, is a bit of lingering chaos.
As therapists, psychologists, social workers, and spiritual life coaches we spend a lot of time listening to our clients talking about the “bus”. An entire session could be about how they didn’t see the bus coming, how unfair it was that they got thrown under the bus, how it feels being slowly crushed under the bus, how their bus is bigger than their sister’s bus, or even, how no one told them about the bus, … In other words, we hear a lot about the bus, point of contact, and the tragedy of it all.
Once we get past the “bus”, then we can start the real work and ask the deeper questions. What are the deeper questions you may ask. The deeper questions include: what do I want now? What are my choices? What beliefs need to change for me to accomplish what I want? The answers to these questions take us to the core of our selves, so we can better understand and even redefine who we are, and ultimately let go of the bus incident.
When clients start their personal development work, slowly they realize that there was no accident, or tragedy and in fact what felt and looked like a bus was just an illusion or maybe an opportunity to start peeling the onion of their lives. When sleeping in a deep slumber, we need something to wake us up. The bus in our story was just a wakeup call. When you look at your job and/or relationship, health, or any other kind of loss as a noisy alarm clock going off, staying mad at what happened is like being mad at the alarm clock throughout the day, so much so that, you can’t engage in what is happening because you are still holding a grudge against the alarm clock!
So, if your alarm clock is going off or you just got hit by the bus, the good news is, it is time to wake up! If you need help waking up or support in the way you want to be when you do wake up, please contact me for a spiritual life coaching consultation.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Joy
I just came back home from a lovely trip out to visit a dear friend in Colorado last night. Walking into the house I could smell the distinct dog odor from our resident pug, Charlie. That was my first impression of our home and then I was hit by: “Mom, could you clean my running shoes for tomorrow?” and “Mom, I need a check for school”. I was instantly reminded of how different everything was compared to the last 4 days in Colorado.
I tried to stop myself from the comparisons to what my days were like when I was away, until I realized that it was impossible. Our brains are designed to compare, contrast, and evaluate. We do this consciously and unconsciously. Even our sense of smell involuntarily compares something to another, reminds us of a good or not-so-good memory associated with the smell. We live in a web of associations and comparisons. If we have a negative memory, then we judge a certain sound, smell or sight to be bad and have an emotional reaction to something in the present based on something from the past. We are constantly going in and out of our thoughts and memories.
Sometimes we even get stuck in our thoughts like a mouse in a maze. Even if our thoughts are not negative or positive, we can get stuck, not knowing how to get out. I work with people who have thought themselves into corners they can’t get out of. They often complain about not being joyful or having lost touch with what matters to them.
Joy, I am convinced has nothing to do with thoughts. Joy is not associated with anything, it just is. I am writing about the kind of joy you feel when you are out in nature, hanging out by rocks that have been around some 10 million years or so. Your mind cannot compare and contrast on the mountains. It just absorbs the beauty and gets really quiet.
Joy in fact, cannot emerge from the mind and its incessant categorizing. One of the scenes that I am reminded of is when you are faced with something beautiful or awe inspiring from a distant past that you were not a part of, in the middle of everyday life. Walking on one of the side streets in Rome and unexpectedly seeing a slice of the Coliseum through the opening ahead as the motorcycles whiz by on the cobblestones for example is one of those moments. Time stops, because you are not capable of thinking your way back to a time thousands of years ago. Your mind is not working overtime. The chatter stops briefly as you gather yourself, until you start again remembering the first time you saw the image, or another time you saw something similar, and off you go back to your evaluating business. The chatter picks up and joy evaporates.
Living the mundane moments of everyday life are joyless for the most part because of the constant chatter in our heads. That is why Buddhist thought reminds us to welcome each day and activity as if it is the first time we are doing it. Staying present helps stop the chatter, slow down the evaluations, and bring back a bit of joy. This is how meditation works. It’s all about slowing down our thinking so we can be, just be.
If you find yourself lost in thinking and evaluating and want to be able to plug into joy, you might want to consider working with a spiritual life coach. Joy comes from spirit, something we lose touch with when we get lost in our thoughts. If you are interested in pursuing spiritual life coaching, contact me for a complimentary 30 minute coaching conversation.
I tried to stop myself from the comparisons to what my days were like when I was away, until I realized that it was impossible. Our brains are designed to compare, contrast, and evaluate. We do this consciously and unconsciously. Even our sense of smell involuntarily compares something to another, reminds us of a good or not-so-good memory associated with the smell. We live in a web of associations and comparisons. If we have a negative memory, then we judge a certain sound, smell or sight to be bad and have an emotional reaction to something in the present based on something from the past. We are constantly going in and out of our thoughts and memories.
Sometimes we even get stuck in our thoughts like a mouse in a maze. Even if our thoughts are not negative or positive, we can get stuck, not knowing how to get out. I work with people who have thought themselves into corners they can’t get out of. They often complain about not being joyful or having lost touch with what matters to them.
Joy, I am convinced has nothing to do with thoughts. Joy is not associated with anything, it just is. I am writing about the kind of joy you feel when you are out in nature, hanging out by rocks that have been around some 10 million years or so. Your mind cannot compare and contrast on the mountains. It just absorbs the beauty and gets really quiet.
Joy in fact, cannot emerge from the mind and its incessant categorizing. One of the scenes that I am reminded of is when you are faced with something beautiful or awe inspiring from a distant past that you were not a part of, in the middle of everyday life. Walking on one of the side streets in Rome and unexpectedly seeing a slice of the Coliseum through the opening ahead as the motorcycles whiz by on the cobblestones for example is one of those moments. Time stops, because you are not capable of thinking your way back to a time thousands of years ago. Your mind is not working overtime. The chatter stops briefly as you gather yourself, until you start again remembering the first time you saw the image, or another time you saw something similar, and off you go back to your evaluating business. The chatter picks up and joy evaporates.
Living the mundane moments of everyday life are joyless for the most part because of the constant chatter in our heads. That is why Buddhist thought reminds us to welcome each day and activity as if it is the first time we are doing it. Staying present helps stop the chatter, slow down the evaluations, and bring back a bit of joy. This is how meditation works. It’s all about slowing down our thinking so we can be, just be.
If you find yourself lost in thinking and evaluating and want to be able to plug into joy, you might want to consider working with a spiritual life coach. Joy comes from spirit, something we lose touch with when we get lost in our thoughts. If you are interested in pursuing spiritual life coaching, contact me for a complimentary 30 minute coaching conversation.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Sans Definition
I was walking in the streets of Florence, Italy. It was beautiful, I was extremely content and there was a white haze surrounding me ...
The feelings from that dream were so amazingly pleasant, I can’t describe them at all. In fact, I don’t want to describe them. When I woke up from that dream, I tried to understand it and bring meaning to it and as soon as I started doing that, the feeling went away. I realized that I should have just stayed with the feeling without the need to analyze or understand. I now go back there, without words and am able to re-experience the feelings sans definition.
We don’t do that with negative feelings do we? We don’t want to re-experience them.
When bad things happen, it has to be someone’s fault. For sure, it is the fault of the bad person who did the bad thing. But it is also perhaps the fault of the person who something happened to, because they were negligent, stupid, too much of something (trusting, naïve, in a hurry, etc.). Or the fault of a 3rd person who may have mislead them into going somewhere, doing something,...
When something negative happens, we run into multiple directions trying to find fault and person(s) to accuse. Sometimes, we run in the same circles after the accusation has been made. Over and over again, we repeat in our heads, “I should have known better”, or “how could he have not kept his word”,... This sometimes distracts us from the pain that we feel from having to deal with what has happened and at least, it makes us feel justified.
Finding fault or sentencing someone with an accusation is essentially about verbalizing an incomprehensive emotion. When something bad happens, we can’t comprehend it, so we seek understanding. Justice brings understanding back into our stories. Words further organize our understanding with more clarity and certainty. In the end it becomes a neatly wrapped package, easy to hold that we keep passing on to ourselves or others.
It is also safe. Words and definitions keep us at a safe distance away from the scene of the event. We don’t have to relive the bad thing. We can bathe in our own righteousness.
In my spiritual life coaching sessions, clients often present a situation from the standpoint of the judge and jury. From that stance, change is not possible. It is a dead end. However, when the client is voluntarily and gently walked back to the starting point of the event, they realize that they have a choice. They realize that there are many destinations from that single point of departure. Letting go of judgment becomes easier. Forgiveness becomes possible. Freedom is the client’s to experience. Words are not needed.
If you are interested in finding out about how you can experience more freedom, forgiveness, and satisfaction regardless of what has happened in your life, contact me for a complimentary 30 minute spiritual life coaching conversation.
The feelings from that dream were so amazingly pleasant, I can’t describe them at all. In fact, I don’t want to describe them. When I woke up from that dream, I tried to understand it and bring meaning to it and as soon as I started doing that, the feeling went away. I realized that I should have just stayed with the feeling without the need to analyze or understand. I now go back there, without words and am able to re-experience the feelings sans definition.
We don’t do that with negative feelings do we? We don’t want to re-experience them.
When bad things happen, it has to be someone’s fault. For sure, it is the fault of the bad person who did the bad thing. But it is also perhaps the fault of the person who something happened to, because they were negligent, stupid, too much of something (trusting, naïve, in a hurry, etc.). Or the fault of a 3rd person who may have mislead them into going somewhere, doing something,...
When something negative happens, we run into multiple directions trying to find fault and person(s) to accuse. Sometimes, we run in the same circles after the accusation has been made. Over and over again, we repeat in our heads, “I should have known better”, or “how could he have not kept his word”,... This sometimes distracts us from the pain that we feel from having to deal with what has happened and at least, it makes us feel justified.
Finding fault or sentencing someone with an accusation is essentially about verbalizing an incomprehensive emotion. When something bad happens, we can’t comprehend it, so we seek understanding. Justice brings understanding back into our stories. Words further organize our understanding with more clarity and certainty. In the end it becomes a neatly wrapped package, easy to hold that we keep passing on to ourselves or others.
It is also safe. Words and definitions keep us at a safe distance away from the scene of the event. We don’t have to relive the bad thing. We can bathe in our own righteousness.
In my spiritual life coaching sessions, clients often present a situation from the standpoint of the judge and jury. From that stance, change is not possible. It is a dead end. However, when the client is voluntarily and gently walked back to the starting point of the event, they realize that they have a choice. They realize that there are many destinations from that single point of departure. Letting go of judgment becomes easier. Forgiveness becomes possible. Freedom is the client’s to experience. Words are not needed.
If you are interested in finding out about how you can experience more freedom, forgiveness, and satisfaction regardless of what has happened in your life, contact me for a complimentary 30 minute spiritual life coaching conversation.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Path Towards Unconditional Love
Organizing my art supplies, I came across paintings that I had not thrown out and didn’t deem valuable enough to frame, or give away. Looking at each I could remember when it was exactly that I had decided that the work was not good enough to be shown to anyone. I remembered the brush stroke, color, line, wash, or the one little mistake that turned the painting from a beautiful image in my mind to an unacceptable reject. I even remembered what I did when I decided that the painting was unacceptable, I put away my paints and supplies and walked away. Somehow, I didn’t find these paintings bad enough to throw away. They were neatly stacked on top of each other under my art supplies, hidden, yet not discarded.
I was reminded of a conversation I had with a spiritual coaching client months ago. After a challenging coaching session where she admitted that she was fighting the process, she admitted that this is not the way she is when she is with other people. In fact, she said: “Most people think I am upbeat and funny. I always cheer everyone up and plough through my own hardships, at least that is what they say about me. I don’t know why I am being this way with you, I hope you don’t think of me as a negative and depressed person.” After reassuring her that I wasn’t judging her, I had to think about what she had said.
It is true that in an intimate coaching conversation, we reveal everything about ourselves. Even the discarded pieces of ourselves that we hide from almost everyone else, we show to our coach. I am a witness to all the undesirable paintings, the ones that are not acceptable for display and yet have not been thrown away.
Even though, I am sure that my clients have a different plan about what to do with their unacceptable creation, for me it is always the same. I don’t see any of it as acceptable or not. I see it as an indication of the creativity of its creator. For me it is further proof that there is an artist in everyone.
My job is to remind the creator of his or her creativity and hence, responsibility towards their creation. Then, I gently invite them to release judgment and start to look at their creation from another perspective. Without the need to assess or evaluate, the creator can now see the real image and the hidden truth in their artwork. With practice, they can now look at all of their artwork in the same manner. This practice is what gets us closer to conscious choice.
We can only be consciously choosing, when we wake up from our nightmares of: judgment, martyrdom, victimization, compulsive doing, and trying hard to finish the race or reach an imaginary point in time and space. Conscious choice is born through unconditional love.
We are all searching for love from the outside. How can we be loved if we can’t love ourselves wholly? Are we hoping that our lover won’t see the ugly pictures if we hide them well enough? If we only show the good ones, he will fall in love with us, that is until one day, he happens to come across all the ugly pictures neatly piled away and then off we go on to another search for someone else we can fool into believing that we are just a piece of what we really are.
So, what would you like to do with your previously labeled “unacceptable” creations? Perhaps they get framed and placed somewhere visible to remind you of the rich source of creativity that is within you and does not yet know how to fully express itself through you. Or might they remind you of your potential to love unconditionally pieces of yourself that you have judged to be unpleasant? Can you love all of your creations?
If you are interested in spiritual life coaching to help you on your journey towards unconditional self-love and acceptance, please contact me for a complimentary 30 minute session to determine if spiritual coaching is what you’d like to pursue.
I was reminded of a conversation I had with a spiritual coaching client months ago. After a challenging coaching session where she admitted that she was fighting the process, she admitted that this is not the way she is when she is with other people. In fact, she said: “Most people think I am upbeat and funny. I always cheer everyone up and plough through my own hardships, at least that is what they say about me. I don’t know why I am being this way with you, I hope you don’t think of me as a negative and depressed person.” After reassuring her that I wasn’t judging her, I had to think about what she had said.
It is true that in an intimate coaching conversation, we reveal everything about ourselves. Even the discarded pieces of ourselves that we hide from almost everyone else, we show to our coach. I am a witness to all the undesirable paintings, the ones that are not acceptable for display and yet have not been thrown away.
Even though, I am sure that my clients have a different plan about what to do with their unacceptable creation, for me it is always the same. I don’t see any of it as acceptable or not. I see it as an indication of the creativity of its creator. For me it is further proof that there is an artist in everyone.
My job is to remind the creator of his or her creativity and hence, responsibility towards their creation. Then, I gently invite them to release judgment and start to look at their creation from another perspective. Without the need to assess or evaluate, the creator can now see the real image and the hidden truth in their artwork. With practice, they can now look at all of their artwork in the same manner. This practice is what gets us closer to conscious choice.
We can only be consciously choosing, when we wake up from our nightmares of: judgment, martyrdom, victimization, compulsive doing, and trying hard to finish the race or reach an imaginary point in time and space. Conscious choice is born through unconditional love.
We are all searching for love from the outside. How can we be loved if we can’t love ourselves wholly? Are we hoping that our lover won’t see the ugly pictures if we hide them well enough? If we only show the good ones, he will fall in love with us, that is until one day, he happens to come across all the ugly pictures neatly piled away and then off we go on to another search for someone else we can fool into believing that we are just a piece of what we really are.
So, what would you like to do with your previously labeled “unacceptable” creations? Perhaps they get framed and placed somewhere visible to remind you of the rich source of creativity that is within you and does not yet know how to fully express itself through you. Or might they remind you of your potential to love unconditionally pieces of yourself that you have judged to be unpleasant? Can you love all of your creations?
If you are interested in spiritual life coaching to help you on your journey towards unconditional self-love and acceptance, please contact me for a complimentary 30 minute session to determine if spiritual coaching is what you’d like to pursue.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Giving and Receiving Gone Bad
Whenever I am presented with an insurmountable issue by one of my clients, I like to observe the world around me and see if I recognize the same issue or pattern elsewhere. Two of the most common issues my clients want to be coached on, are being stuck and lack of abundance of opportunities. I know that we all get stuck from time to time and can’t see what is available to us or feel uncreative and hence can’t produce anything to get us out of where we are stuck. However, when life deals us a bad hand, some people have an excruciatingly difficult time getting out of their negative tendencies and so, sink deeper and deeper into the muck.
I’ve identified at least two categories in which we can get lost in. These categories are extreme cases which in a healthy mental state we can go in and come out of. Some can’t get out for many reasons and that is not the topic of this post. I wanted to invite you to take a look at yourself and how you might fall into one or both of these categories from time to time.
Over-givers: They tend to be women, mothers, multi-taskers and very good at many things. In fact, many keep on giving even when there is nothing left to give. What do they give when it is all gone? They give away their frustrations, compulsions, stress, anxiety, worries, you name it, they dish it out and there is an endless supply of these. They mean well, they just don’t know how to stop themselves. It’s as if giving is programmed into their DNA, and they can’t stop. It has nothing to do with the quality or even the content of what they are giving, they are caught up in the act and they keep at it.
Many over-givers have control issues. They tend to choke off the life force in the receiver of their giving. They also tend to blame everyone who isn’t happy or cooperative about receiving what they are shoving their way.
Non-receivers: The non-receivers won’t accept anything from anyone. Many of the over givers are non-receivers too. Some non-receivers on the other hand, aren’t interested in giving or receiving. They are like a closed fist that does not know how to open up and hold or receive. Everything is impossible, irrelevant, unrealistic, impractical, useless or a waste of time to them. These beliefs keep the fist closed and serve their negative mental state.
The non-receivers are stiff and not easily humored. They cannot laugh at themselves, they are angry at the world. They believe they are smart and not easily fooled like those other happy, gullible people they despise or envy. Non-receivers cannot engage in any positive activities or conversations that challenge their position. Challenging a non-receiver requires them to open up their fists and they can’t do that and remain a non-receiver at the same time. It challenges their whole identity.
The over-givers are non-receivers for the most part. They cannot receive because most of the time they are in their giving mode, and receiving would mess up with their giving function. However, if and when they want something specific to be delivered in a specific way by a specific person, and it happens, then they will receive! That however, rarely happens, so they keep on giving.
We all fall into one or both of these categories from time to time and about certain things and with certain people. Like anxiety, a little bit of it is a good thing. It stretches you. However, when done over and over again, it becomes part of your personality and not only is it hard to get out of, it is hard to be around.
Do you find yourself falling into one or both of these categories at any time or with certain people or situations? Are you stuck and can’t get away from your thinking patterns? When stressed, what happens to your giving and receiving tendencies?
If you would like to further explore these concepts and how they may be contributing to your level of dissatisfaction with life, please contact me for a complimentary 30 minute session to determine if spiritual life coaching is what you might be interested in.
I’ve identified at least two categories in which we can get lost in. These categories are extreme cases which in a healthy mental state we can go in and come out of. Some can’t get out for many reasons and that is not the topic of this post. I wanted to invite you to take a look at yourself and how you might fall into one or both of these categories from time to time.
Over-givers: They tend to be women, mothers, multi-taskers and very good at many things. In fact, many keep on giving even when there is nothing left to give. What do they give when it is all gone? They give away their frustrations, compulsions, stress, anxiety, worries, you name it, they dish it out and there is an endless supply of these. They mean well, they just don’t know how to stop themselves. It’s as if giving is programmed into their DNA, and they can’t stop. It has nothing to do with the quality or even the content of what they are giving, they are caught up in the act and they keep at it.
Many over-givers have control issues. They tend to choke off the life force in the receiver of their giving. They also tend to blame everyone who isn’t happy or cooperative about receiving what they are shoving their way.
Non-receivers: The non-receivers won’t accept anything from anyone. Many of the over givers are non-receivers too. Some non-receivers on the other hand, aren’t interested in giving or receiving. They are like a closed fist that does not know how to open up and hold or receive. Everything is impossible, irrelevant, unrealistic, impractical, useless or a waste of time to them. These beliefs keep the fist closed and serve their negative mental state.
The non-receivers are stiff and not easily humored. They cannot laugh at themselves, they are angry at the world. They believe they are smart and not easily fooled like those other happy, gullible people they despise or envy. Non-receivers cannot engage in any positive activities or conversations that challenge their position. Challenging a non-receiver requires them to open up their fists and they can’t do that and remain a non-receiver at the same time. It challenges their whole identity.
The over-givers are non-receivers for the most part. They cannot receive because most of the time they are in their giving mode, and receiving would mess up with their giving function. However, if and when they want something specific to be delivered in a specific way by a specific person, and it happens, then they will receive! That however, rarely happens, so they keep on giving.
We all fall into one or both of these categories from time to time and about certain things and with certain people. Like anxiety, a little bit of it is a good thing. It stretches you. However, when done over and over again, it becomes part of your personality and not only is it hard to get out of, it is hard to be around.
Do you find yourself falling into one or both of these categories at any time or with certain people or situations? Are you stuck and can’t get away from your thinking patterns? When stressed, what happens to your giving and receiving tendencies?
If you would like to further explore these concepts and how they may be contributing to your level of dissatisfaction with life, please contact me for a complimentary 30 minute session to determine if spiritual life coaching is what you might be interested in.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Spiritual Coaching II (Positive vs. Negative Transitions)
I work with people who are going through all kinds of change. Transition is how you manage change. As such I coach people who perceive their change as a negative one and hence, their transition becomes negative too. The bulk of the work is about looking at what may have seemed like a negative transition (e.g., loss of a job, divorce) and dealing with it in a realistic way. Being real is key to making it through any transition. Reality includes negative and positive beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and all kinds of fears (rational or not).
When people use their so-called negative transition to explore the potentials hidden in the chaos or disorganization of their world, they become more comfortable with uncertainty and start seeing and experiencing creativity, non-linearity, and what may even seem like magic. At this stage, there is no longer a feeling of dread even when they have to meet their divorce attorney to go over child support payments for example. This is what I mean be keeping it real.
During a transition period, control and certainty have been replaced by chaos and uncertainty. The good news is that anything can happen during chaos as long as you are ok with the fact that uncertainty will make sure you won’t know what is going to happen and how it happens. Yes, the road to empowerment involves dismantling of the old you which means giving up the fake sense of power that you may have had. When life works according to the old rules handed down by our parents, teachers, schools, jobs, bosses, and the media, we feel powerful. We feel like we have figured it all out and we are smart and empowered. It’s only when things don’t quite work out according to our expectations, that we feel betrayed and disempowered.
True power however, is not something that anyone or anything can take away from you. Real empowerment comes when you get to know the real you. The real you is the integrated you: the good, the bad, and even the ugly. When all those pieces come together and when you accept all of them as the real you, then you are empowered. As long as you are rejecting any part of you, you are going to be rejected.
With real empowerment, there is no need to label life’s bumps and bruises as positive or negative. It is just a part of life. You may not like it, but you know that you will come through it. As a spiritual life coach who helps people going through difficult transitions, this is where I like to help my clients get to, the place of full acceptance of whatever is or is not happening. This can be done without resistance when you know who you are, what is important to you (your values), what your choices are, how to take care of yourself and who can support you.
Questions to Ponder:
1) Are you going through a difficult transition?
2) Is it negative or positive, and what makes it so?
3) What needs to change in order for you to have a more positive experience?
If you are going through a difficult transition and would like to work with a spiritual life coach, contact me for a complimentary 30 minute conversation to determine if I can help you through your journey.
When people use their so-called negative transition to explore the potentials hidden in the chaos or disorganization of their world, they become more comfortable with uncertainty and start seeing and experiencing creativity, non-linearity, and what may even seem like magic. At this stage, there is no longer a feeling of dread even when they have to meet their divorce attorney to go over child support payments for example. This is what I mean be keeping it real.
During a transition period, control and certainty have been replaced by chaos and uncertainty. The good news is that anything can happen during chaos as long as you are ok with the fact that uncertainty will make sure you won’t know what is going to happen and how it happens. Yes, the road to empowerment involves dismantling of the old you which means giving up the fake sense of power that you may have had. When life works according to the old rules handed down by our parents, teachers, schools, jobs, bosses, and the media, we feel powerful. We feel like we have figured it all out and we are smart and empowered. It’s only when things don’t quite work out according to our expectations, that we feel betrayed and disempowered.
True power however, is not something that anyone or anything can take away from you. Real empowerment comes when you get to know the real you. The real you is the integrated you: the good, the bad, and even the ugly. When all those pieces come together and when you accept all of them as the real you, then you are empowered. As long as you are rejecting any part of you, you are going to be rejected.
With real empowerment, there is no need to label life’s bumps and bruises as positive or negative. It is just a part of life. You may not like it, but you know that you will come through it. As a spiritual life coach who helps people going through difficult transitions, this is where I like to help my clients get to, the place of full acceptance of whatever is or is not happening. This can be done without resistance when you know who you are, what is important to you (your values), what your choices are, how to take care of yourself and who can support you.
Questions to Ponder:
1) Are you going through a difficult transition?
2) Is it negative or positive, and what makes it so?
3) What needs to change in order for you to have a more positive experience?
If you are going through a difficult transition and would like to work with a spiritual life coach, contact me for a complimentary 30 minute conversation to determine if I can help you through your journey.
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