Friday, March 16, 2012

The Perfectionist

I coach many people who are self-declared perfectionists. They typically know this about themselves and yet find it hard to deal with especially when they have multiple deadlines or an important project they need to finish. What seems to happen with perfectionists is that the target keeps on moving. This can lead to stress and extreme overwhelm.

It is almost as if they keep on moving the bar higher and higher and can never achieve success because success keeps on being redefined. The mind of a perfectionist is a hostile place. There is no room for rest, relaxation or any kind of comfort at all.

Here are 10 things a perfectionist tells herself:

1)    It’s not good at all
2)    It could be better
3)    What if there is something that needs to be changed and I am not seeing it right now?
4)    What if I overlook something and someone else sees it?
5)    I could do better
6)    I’ll spend another hour, day, week, month, etc. and then it will be done
7)    If there were more hours in a day, I could do it right
8)    I won’t do it, because I can’t do it the way I want to do it
9)    I’ll never get it done and I am ashamed and frustrated with myself
10)    I am overwhelmed by my incomplete projects

The perfectionist keeps on engaging in perfectionism because the end product, finished project, or whatever they finally complete ends up being such a success that they end up feeling like it was well worth it. If you are tired of struggling with perfectionism and find yourself stuck or overwhelmed, you may want to consider working with a spiritual life coach. Spiritual life coaching is about creating a safe space for discovery. Changing your language and self-talk may be the first step after the awareness that you are indeed a perfectionist. Contact me if you are interested in a complimentary 30 minute coaching conversation.

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