Thursday, March 29, 2012

On Endings

Endings are prevalent in my world. My coaching clients are all experiencing loss or death. Whether it be the death of a relationship, a way of being, childhood, a tradition, a job, innocence, or a belief system, they have all been endings indeed. Some of the deaths make us sad and like the death of a loved one, we need to grieve them. Some are liberating, because they are long awaited, in other words, it was time.

All death ends up being expansive. Yes, even the death of a loved one. Once you allow yourself to grieve and acknowledge the grief, you can go beyond. Something always has to end in order for something else to begin. We dread endings, but endings in a way signify life. Spring wouldn’t be Spring without Winter.

The Spring I am writing about is not to be experienced in the company of someone else. The kinds of beginnings that follow the endings I am referring to are the ones we experience alone. The person you become when you lose someone close to you, a job you loved, or a way of life, is not anything you can explain or share. It is a journey traveled alone. Perhaps this contributes to our fear of death.

Our evolution however, depends on these deaths. Deaths are about letting go of something for the good of the whole. We hang on to our differences, our cultures, languages, etc. It is a way we think to keep them alive. What we are doing is choking the life force. No one wants to idly sit by and allow something to become extinct, and yet we all will be extinct one day. The fear of extinction is what compels us to hang on and fear death.

What if we did not look at it as losing something? What if we looked at it as a stage of life. Yes, a stage of life. Death can be seen as a stage of life. Death is about allowing, it is expansive and evolving. Death can only be seen this way when you release judgment. Western culture sees death as a morbid topic and yet I’d like to invite you to see it as a necessary part of your experience of life. Endings are necessary. Endings are liberating. Endings are sad, but when the sadness evaporates, the seedling can sprout.

If you are in the midst of a difficult ending, and would like support in seeing this transition in a different light, you may want to consider working with a spiritual life coach. Spiritual coaching is about changing the way you believe things to be in order to have a more meaningful and complete experience. Contact me for a complimentary 30 minute consultation to determine if spiritual coaching is for you.


Anonymous said...

Beautifully communicated

I'm looking forward to coffee :)


Sherry Bakhtian said...

Me too Vick! Thanks :-)