This has been a summer of road trips. My husband and I have discovered that we actually prefer traveling by car on our vacations. It has been less stressful and liberating when you can go when you want to and take as many pieces of luggage as your car can handle without paying those pesky airline fees. Your destination is where you decide at the last minute and you can see what is around the corner, and even stop to take pictures.
What I found enlightening is the transition from one state or location to another. You get such a better feel for the Midwest for example vs. the high paced life of the East Coast. And when you are gradually going through the transition by car, you can actually appreciate it more. When you are not focused on why isn’t the plane taxiing to your gate already, you notice the kinds of vegetation, the hills and valleys and even the pace of life.
This summer, I enjoyed getting to our destinations.
Looking at life from the same perspective, I can feel the same way about the journey as I do about the destination. These days, the destination is becoming more and more blurry. The journey on the other hand is palpable and immediate. It includes all the ups and downs, boredom, excitement, and everything in between. If life was just a series of destinations without the transitions in between, it would be kind of scary not to mention incredibly hard to handle.
Transitions or journeys give us the opportunity to adjust, absorb, and truly experience the destination. In other words, it is what life is all about. When I hear my clients who are going through a tough divorce wish themselves into another relationship as quickly as possible, it is as if they are not honoring the journey.
As difficult as a transition such as divorce can be, it is the opportunity to celebrate a good decision, make a change, say no to victimhood, and even appreciate what you have learned. Just like the road trip, if you are focused on the pain to go away or familiarity to set in (by jumping into a new relationship), it is like the kids in the back seat repeatedly asking if we are there yet.
Pain and suffering are real only to those who are focused on the destination.
If life was just about the destination, then it would be a fast paced movie with the highlights being points that got us closer to the end which is inevitably, death. I am trying not to rush through life so I can get closer to death. These days, I am enjoying and accepting every moment including all the so-called flaws and imperfections, so I can finally live. I just wish I knew what I know now 20 years ago!
Questions to Ponder:
1) What area of your life do you find yourself focused on the destination? What is so uncomfortable about the journey?
2) What was a perfect event in your life? Which moment in that event was the perfect one? What made it perfect?
3) If you still think it is all about the destination, what are your perfect or ideal destinations in life? Start from the beginning and list the destinations. Now, how do you plan on going from point A to point B?
Spiritual life coaching is a journey to help the client dismantle stuck old beliefs that just don’t work any more. It is a client driven process where you decide what area you’d like to focus on. If you are not sure how to get unstuck or could use my support, please contact me for a conversation that might help you find the journey you want to take.