Monday, February 2, 2009

Manifesting Force or Flow?

I just ended an amazing coaching session where I discovered together with my client about how powerful or empowered we feel when we are in the flow of life. You’d think it would be the other way around, if we forced it and made things happen, then, we’d feel powerful. That I think is the old way of being powerful. The most fragile things in life are the most powerful. A perfect rose, a small puppy, the fragrance or aroma of something we love (e.g. chocolate, freshly brewed coffee or bread baking in the oven), etc. And they are the most powerful, when they catch us off guard. Just when you think your life is too busy and complicated to take care of a dog, you see that cute little puppy who just tugs at your heart and melts away all of those “buts”.

In fact, I think that when we plan for something and work really hard for it, it loses its power. If we actually enjoyed the journey towards achieving it, then we’d come out empowered. But if we struggled and all we remember is the pain and suffering and deprivation we endured to get that morsel of whatever it was we wanted, then we are indeed powerless and perhaps even defeated at the end. It is time to change that old belief: no pain, no gain, unless we want to gain scars and victory trophies. Life doesn’t have to be a struggle and I know that for some people this is considered blasphemy. Especially now, in these uncertain times, it is even considered insensitive to be joyful and happy. This indeed is the time that people need it the most, yet we deprive them of the gift of our own happiness. We claim it is because we want to be respectful. I am not saying to rub your happiness in people’s faces, but joy is contagious. It is ok to be truly happy and shine your happiness on to others. Those who don’t like you, won’t like you anyway, and those who do will be grateful that you helped lift them up.

If your life is working, don’t question it, don’t explain or analyze it. Just accept it and go with it. If some silly belief, like I have to be miserable to be respectful gets in the way of your flow, then just go around it. Go with the flow, so you can feel empowered. You being there for your friends and family from an empowered place will help lift them up and it will be contagious. So often we get in our own way, or we let the expert on TV tell us what to feel or do, how long will it take, and what to expect. How crazy! We constantly minimize ourselves and our experiences. We allow ourselves to be boxed into case studies and analyzed to death. We dis-empower ourselves and construct lives that make no sense. Then we hit a crisis, and all of that construction comes tumbling down and we wonder what went wrong. What went wrong is that we forgot about the flow of life, we let something get in our way and we started paddling up stream. Somehow we got it in our head, that that was the way to do it. We had to work hard and struggle to achieve our goals. And as long as this belief in any shape or form is alive in our consciousness, it will hold us in the path of force and won’t allow us to go with the flow.

I wish you a very happy Valentine’s Day! Love yourself first and then go with the flow, you and everyone else in your life will love you even more…

No comments: