She was concerned that her anger about what had happened would determine the outcome of her future. She could not let go of the thought that the course of her life had changed because of a decision not made by her, but by someone else. This fact made her crazy. She had done everything right, been smart, worked hard, only to find herself at the mercy of something/someone else. The powerlessness made her bitter and she could not move forward and onward with her life…
This describes the point of transition for many of my spiritual coaching clients. Whether they were just laid off from their jobs or served with divorce papers, it is the anger and bitterness that they have a hard time letting go of. The headlines running in their heads go something like: “How could this have happened to me?” “Why did I trust him?” “How can I trust again?” “What will I do now?”
A person going through a so-called involuntary transition, is focused on the event and all the details that go with it. Why, how, if only, … Thoughts and questions that begin this way, keep us focused on the event. Transitions are rarely about the event, yet when caught blind-sighted all we can do is go over and over the event and all the contained details.
Transitions are about change, a fork in the road, a sharp turn to the other direction, a new path, etc. What caused the change is like the squirrel who ran into the road and you tried to avoid, insignificant. If the squirrel hadn’t run in front of your car, you wouldn’t have changed direction, so something had to happen. That is the point of the squirrel. That’s all.
So, if you are faced with a big decision, an unwelcome change, don’t sit in analysis mode. Don’t wonder why the squirrel had to jump in front of your car. Don’t wonder if you had left later or earlier that you might have missed the squirrel. And for heaven’s sake, don’t get mad at the squirrel. All these thoughts, keep you focused on the squirrel and not the road and the journey ahead.
There is so much ahead and more squirrels yet! When we are pushed to make a change, life is inviting us to go through a different door. This can be exciting, and definitely evolving, while being extremely unsettling.
Uncertainty is the way of the transition and the sooner we embrace it, the easier it will get.
If you are in the midst of a difficult transition and are focused on the squirrel, you might consider spiritual life coaching to learn to focus on the path ahead. If you are interested in a 30 minute complimentary coaching session, contact me.