The most challenging work during a coaching session is managing the pace. When I first started, I was pushy and had an agenda to get the client to achieve all the goals they had set out to achieve. As a more seasoned coach, I have learned that you have to be truly present every step of the way. If the client does not want to go where they set out to go, you have to honor that decision. Just like a dance partner, you have to be aware and alert to where your companion is going, how they are moving, and what their needs are every step of the way. This has been an invaluable lesson for me not just in my spiritual coaching sessions, but in life.
I have learned to listen to the rhythm of the dance with my kids and with a teenager and another one who thinks she is a teenager, the rhythm changes constantly! If you think you know what the dance is, and you may even think that you can predict what your partner’s next moves are, you may be surprised. Preparation is not about reading your notes and remembering what worked last time. Preparation is about being present and listening to what is unfolding without any judgment or expectation. Then and only then can you be of the most value and completely satisfied with your work.
The dance is also about how you interact with the rhythm of life itself. We suffer when we are impatient and want things to happen before they do. We suffer when we give up because we didn’t get what we wanted at the time that we wanted it. We suffer when we don’t do our best and short change the opportunities that show up in our lives. We suffer when we don’t listen to the neon blinking messages that are repeated throughout similar experiences. These all have to do with not keeping up with the pace of life. When you are present, not attached to something that happened yesterday, not hoping for something to happen tomorrow, but present here in the now, can you dance the ultimate dance of life.
The dance does require some preparation. You do need to know the steps, be prepared physically, have the right attitude, be flexible, and trust yourself. If you try to pull it along or be an unwilling participant, then it won’t feel like a dance.
Here’s to you dancing all the way, every day!
Questions To Ponder:
1) When did you last experience the “dance”? What were you doing? How did it feel?
2) Generally speaking, are you the one who is leading or are you being lead?
3) When was the last time you experienced resistance in life? How did it get resolved? What changed?
If you are tired of leading or being lead, it might be time to consider spiritual life coaching. Spiritual life coaching is about becoming more aware of the dance of life and how you participate in it. Once you recognize your moves, you can decide to change them if needed. Please contact me if you are interested in pursuing spiritual life coaching to facilitate a life that flows and moves to your own rhythm.