Tuesday, December 7, 2010

When Force Doesn't Work

I’ve been busy with my hands and my ears lately.  In fact, I’ve been so busy, I haven’t had the time to write on my blog.  Writing is a form of speaking and I guess I haven’t had much to say.  My self- expression has taken the form of preparing meals, wrapping presents, rearranging furniture, arranging flowers, etc.   When I have not been doing that, I have been listening to my clients sharing their frustrations and fears. 

Last weekend, I facilitated a workshop on the topic of the rewards and challenges of being a professional bi-cultural woman.  Most of the women had experienced either first hand or second hand (through their parents’ experiences) challenges prior to their education and success.  In fact, the driving force behind their accomplishments was the lack that their families had experienced.  Determined to not experience the hardship of their families, they were pushed to excel to create a better life for themselves and their children.

This type of determination is what most successes in the material and physical world are made of.  What feels wrong is when the drive or push becomes a meaningless compulsion out of habit.  And it always ends up that way, when we keep on pushing because we think it is the way.  Not only isn’t it fun to be pushy, but it stops producing or produces the wrong results.  Many times, our forceful ways are misinterpreted or we might get pushed back. 

When we are programmed to push and force things to happen, even after a defeat, we get right back up ready for the next battle.  This attitude may have been rewarded in athletics or at war, but at work or in life, it is not looked upon that way.  This is when the unraveling occurs.  What used to work, what you either learned from someone or taught yourself is no longer true.  So, how must you be?

Questions to Ponder:
1)    If you find yourself in a situation where nothing that used to work works anymore, what do you do?
2)    What are some things that you used to tell yourself when you were younger and now, you wonder if they are true?
3)    When have you pushed or forced something to happen?  And how did it turn out?

Spiritual life coaching is a process where you are allowed and encouraged to question all belief systems that no longer serve you.  Through this type of coaching, you will re-create your own reality where you live by your own inner values expressing them, and finding more meaning in the smallest of things.  If you are interested in learning more about spiritual life coaching with me, please contact me.

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