Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Getting Unstuck

In my spiritual life coaching work, I typically meet people who are stuck.  They are stuck in their jobs or relationships, or just generally feel a sense of not moving as fast as they’d like to.  During conversations, it becomes clear that they are blaming the situation on an outside factor.  The outside factor is a bad boss, a lousy work place, a terrible partner, the economy, lack of education or opportunities, etc.  So, the attention is always on some problem out there.  My job is to shift the focus from the client’s outside to the client’s inside.  This shift inevitably pushes deeply held belief systems to change.  And that’s when the real work begins.

In the introduction to Chapter 24 of A Course In Miracles, it says: "To learn this course requires willingness to question every value that you hold.  Not one can be kept hidden and obscure but it will jeopardize your learning.  No belief is neutral.  Every one has the power to dictate each decision you make.  For a decision is a conclusion based on everything that you believe."  In other words, the decision to stay at a job you hate, leave a marriage you worked so hard to save,  and even the decision to just go with the flow of whatever is happening or not happening, is based on your beliefs.
If you focus on the outside event and make decisions at the effect level, you may temporarily get rid of the current problem, but chances are they are going to show up again in a different form.  In fact, I believe that we are all blessed with opportunities that keep on coming until we finally wake up and make the necessary changes.  So, take the example of staying at a job you hate because of whatever reason you think is real (e.g., the economy, what if the job I want does not exist, I’ve tried and haven’t been able to find another job, etc.), if you don’t take this as an opportunity to change, you will have other chances.  You might find out that your new neighbors who just moved in are really loud, have late night loud parties every weekend,  and happen to have a dog that barks non-stop early in the morning.  This opportunity provides for you to feel the feeling of being stuck, because you seem to choose to experience it.  If you still choose to ignore the flashing neon signs, you might even find an illness or incurable health problem that echoes the feeling of being stuck, and on and on are the opportunities.
Being stuck is a symptom of hitting the wall built by your own beliefs.  You have several choices, you can get up, forget about the wall or pretend it isn’t there and run into it again and again, you can stay away from the wall and close your eyes and suffer quietly, or you can first scream at the wall and declare that you are going to bring it down and call your spiritual life coach for an appointment to change the belief that is holding you back.  I strongly recommend the last choice!  When you learn how to dismantle the beliefs that get you stuck, you are bound to live a conscious life making conscious choices and inevitably creating what you consciously want instead of putting up with what you don’t.

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